HOME, IS A PLACE TO REST.

Of late the news here in Ontario has touched upon the level of care in nursing homes after evidence of violence resulting in death, and poor care received by elderly residents, has come to light. This, however, is old news as anyone who has, or has had, a relative, or a loved one, housed in one of these institutions can attest.

My wife and I  have had to deal with parents, and relatives, suffering poor health and dementia resulting in their having to be placed in a nursing home. It's painful to watch as the individual begins to suffer loneliness and neglect, the result of inadequate help, and overworked poorly trained staff. 

My father died, I feel prematurely, as the result of leg sores  that were neglected, turned gangrenous, and resulted in amputation(s) and death. My wife's mother suffered bruises, that were always explained away as the result of falls. My aunt suffered the loss of her intellect caused by isolation, and simply went away.

The situation has become such that ask an elderly person if they would want to be placed in a nursing home, and many will say that they'd much rather die. I know that it's not my wish to end my last days in one of these places. But, I may have no choice.

Meanwhile the politicians are looking into the problem. No doubt they will order a study be done, that will result in further studies. After all, civil servants must appear to look busy.

I used to visit with my aunt, my mother's sister, at least once a week for the years that she was a resident in a nursing home. We were close, a relationship that began when I was very young, so it was a foregone conclusion that I would help her navigate life as she grew older, and was no longer able to cope. I watched as she slowly went away, never complaining, always thankful for every bit of kindness shown her way. That it was a learning experience that's for certain, but at the same time I felt it a privilege to be able to share moments of perhaps the most important time of our lives, our going away.

Home, Is A Place To Rest.

A home is a place to rest.

A nursing home is not the best,

place to rest.

It’s a place of last resort,

but certainly not a resort.

A door opens and locks you in.

There’s no escape until your journey ends.

You’ve  joined the group of forgotten souls,

but not for long for soon you’ll be gone.

Gone to where,

no one knows.

Heaven some say,

as they drift away

to dreams of yesterday.

No,

a nursing home is not the best

place to rest.

It’s definitely a place of last resort,

a place where you’ll find,

little rest,

a place where your dreams,

of peace and quiet

are replaced by nightmares, 

some would say,

as you cringe, and try to hide away

from minds demented,

souls possessed,

caregivers who, 

could care less,

about your care.

No,

a nursing home is not the best

place to rest,

it’s hell at best.

EAS

I Heard Her Say...

Is it wrong to remember,

as one grows old,

to speak of other times

not necessarily better times?

If I say I remember

why do you cringe?

Perhaps,

I’ve spoke of this before, 

and you do not wish

to hear it more.

I’m sorry,

perhaps,

I told you

some other day.

My memory is not the same, but

I’m not to blame,

for every day just

seems the same,

and all that comes to mind is 

time spent

long ago.

I’m tired,

I’m weary,

I’d like to be cheery, but

sitting here

all alone

no one to talk to,

my friends are all gone,

the time just drags on,

and on,

here in this place

I now call home.

Look,

out there,

a bird just flew by!

I wish that I could fly

away……..

And so her days, and

nights,

were spent in silence

in this place

of lonely souls

lost and tired.

She tried her best to

stay, but

one day

she

simply

went away,

regretting that she’d lived so long

in this place of little song.

EAS 2019